Tuesday, January 10, 2006

This is where...

I scope you out and call you on the carpet for the freakshow you are.

Hello, blogosphere, this is your worst nightmare. Okay, maybe 3rd or 4th worst nightmare. An anonymous blogger who can find that rock where you hid all your shit, turn it over, and expose it for nothing but grins & giggles.

This is, in short, intended to be a gossip blog about bloggers and other denizens of these here intarwebz. Everyone is fair game, but your gentle host will strive to be humane. No picking on cripples, fat kids, retards. Otherwise, this is equal opportunity. If you are an idiot with a profile of sorts on the 'net... we'll find you.

This blog will be beholden to no one save sources. Sources of solid info will be protected like little babies suckling at the breastages, yo.

That means I want the dirt, y'all. I want the skinny. Oh, I can find it myself -- not to worry. In part, this weblog will be a journey, one you take with me as I troll the internetz and unravel the remarkable threads some of you fucking nuts weave hither and yon.

Who am I? None of your business. Just another fucking nut, in my own charming way. This isn't about me. If anything, I am a guy -- and yes, I am a guy, a dude-- who recently just got fucking sick of the amazing level of pettiness and bullshit that spreads itself internet-wide on a daily basis.

What will you read here? The shit. Stuff about people who are in the grip of the very thing upon which I am relying; the Mardi Gras effect. That's when the perceived anonymity of the internet leads peeps to feel as if they are somehow disinhibited, and their freak comes screaming out in all its wart-riddled glory.

I'm not out to slander anyone as much as let you know you aren't as anonymous as you think, nor are you as important as you think. None of us are. The web can kind of skew that. I'm not out to harass anyone, either. There's no real agenda here, save that I hate idiots, and arrogant idiots even more.

I'm removing comments. I don't care what you think. I'm not watching my language, though I usually tend to think cursing is a sign that someone can't really think of anything else to say. And I'm not going to take any prisoners, either. First we'll focus on bloggers, big and small. But they aren't the only peeps on the web acting like idiots -- there are webmasters galore, weirdos, ninnies, nerds, dorks, sluts... yes, the world you learned about when you watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off in the 80's is alive and well and has morphed into the Matrix.

If you blog about politics, you're fair game. Blog about crime -- fair game. Blog about knitting... eh, pass. And if you're old-school and say, I'm a webmaster, it's different -- too bad. It ain't, really.

I've already acquired a collection of shit to unload here, but I'll need more. To that end, there's a special little e-mail address for you to know:


Now, don't be an idiot, son. I am going to assume you're smart enough to change [AT] out to this here sign -- @. Do that, and if you've got good shit, send it on. It can be about a celebrity blogger, (Malkin, Glenn Reynolds, anyone at Pajamas Media), a celebrity who blogs, or even just some idiot. www.ljdrama.org thrives on such things, and I'm always interested in stupid bullshit being tossed across the fiberoptics, whether I know who you are or not.

Now, you can send flames to the gmail addy if you want, but they'll just be smirked at in a rather infuriating way and deleted.

I will not answer questions about myself, over e-mail or here -- at least not now. I will not give someone shit just because you want me to, either. Don't try and use your boy loki here to settle a score. Each tip is going to be tracked and investigated independently. And don't try to promote some sort of political bullshit by tweaking the blogger now speaking to you -- politics shmolitics. I'll go after the greenies, the lefties, the hawks, the mods, the pro-lifers and pro-choicers if the story is good. Who you vote for is immaterial to me.

Now... I'm going to start slow. But this should be... fun.